Have You Ever Been In Love
by Amethyst6
Summary: Based off the episode The Disease. After every thing is said and done, Kathryn and Chakotay have a conversation.


Disclaimer: I don't own them, they belong to Paramount. The story is mine.  
  
Summary: Based off the episode The Disease. After everything is said and done, Kathryn and Chakotay have a conversation. As always would love to hear your comments. Nlh275@famvid.com  
  
Author's Note: Although this is not a song fic this story was inspired by Celine's Dion song, Have You Ever Been In Love (and of course I borrowed the title).   
  
Have You Ever Been In Love  
  
Kathryn sat back against the couch in her quarters. Feet tucked comfortably underneath her legs, one hand absently combing through her hair, she faced Chakotay. They'd just finished a wonderful dish prepared by Chakotay and she was pleasantly content. Stomach full, coffee now in hand, thanks to Chakotay, she watched him as he drank his tea. Kathryn took a sip of her own hot beverage before picking up the conversation they'd had over dinner.  
  
"I don't know, Chakotay. Harry is miserable right now. He could have just taken the medicine from the doctor and avoided all this."  
  
"Maybe he didn't want to avoid it, Kathryn." Chakotay paused, trying to find the words that would make her understand things from Harry's point of view.   
  
  
  
"Harry asked you have you ever been in love. What did you say?" he asked.  
  
Kathryn averted her eyes. "I didn't get a chance to say anything. We were interrupted."  
  
"Well," Chakotay said softly. "Let me ask you again. And listen; really listen, before you answer, okay.  
  
"Okay," she whispered, her voice just as soft as his.  
  
"Have you ever been in love, Kathryn? The kind of love that makes you feel like your heart is soaring? The kind that makes you feel like anything is possible. The kind that makes you feel like you can float with the stars, that nothing in the universe could ever hurt you because that person is with you? Have you ever felt that kind of love that makes you nervous and excited at the same time?" Chakotay leaned forward as he spoke and his eyes were intent as they studied Kathryn. His voice was soft and low. She knew they were no longer talking about Harry and Tal.  
  
"Have you ever loved someone so much that you were sure they had to be heaven sent? Knew deep down in your soul that they're the one, the only one, and nowhere in this entire universe would there ever be another? The kind of love, Kathryn, that fills you with overwhelming joy and happiness just to be near them?"  
  
His voice was laced with a desperation that he couldn't hide if he wanted to. And those eyes those expressive brown eyes, held so much emotion Kathryn couldn't look away. Neither of them moved; their eyes locked together in silent communication. His eyes were searching, pleading with her to understand and accept what he was trying to say. Hers held uncertainty. Could she throw caution to the wind and give him what they both wanted? Her Starfleet training made her hesitate too long and Chakotay, taking that as another rejection, cleared his throat.   
  
Straightening he sipped his tea. "I'm sorry Captain, I didn't mean to get so carried away. I just think that's how Harry might have felt.  
  
"Chakotay..."  
  
"I mean it doesn't go away just because that person isn't with you," Chakotay continued, talking rapidly, as if she hadn't spoken. "All he has now are his memories. To let Doc give him his medicine would be like erasing their love like it never existed."  
  
"Chakotay," she said a little more insistently. But he still ignored her.  
  
  
  
"Well, Captain. I'd better be getting back to my quarters. It's getting late," he said rising, and heading for the door.   
  
  
  
"Chakotay, wait..."  
  
  
  
"Goodnight Captain," he said and stepped out the door.  
  
  
  
Kathryn stared dumbfounded as the door slid to a close. It took her a moment to realize that Chakotay had actually left. She couldn't let things end like this. The evening had been almost perfect. They were enjoying each other's company, enjoying the camaraderie between them. Why did she have to bring up Harry and his predicament? Better yet, why did he rush off like that?   
  
Well, he asked her a question, dammit, and she was going to give him an answer. Not caring how late it was or who saw her, she made her way to Chakotay's quarters. After several tries and still not getting an answer, Kathryn requested Chakotay's location from the computer.   
  
"Commander Chakotay is in holodeck two."  
  
Kathryn pivoted and headed for the holodeck. She was halfway to her destination when she remembered her attire. She was dressed in a pair of thin low-riding drawstring pants and a t-shirt, with no shoes. How could she have forgotten shoes? Luckily, the corridors were nearly empty since the ship was in night mode. Reaching holodeck two she checked to see if he'd engaged the privacy lock. He hadn't. Stepping inside she stopped. It was dark, streaks of moonlight barely making its way through the thick branches of trees that surrounded her. It looked like she was in a forest of some kind. Stepping forward, Kathryn yelped as her foot landed on something sharp. Barely able to see, she knew there was no way she would be able to find Chakotay in this.   
  
  
  
"Computer, is Commander Chakotay and myself the only ones in this holodeck?"  
  
"Affirmative."  
  
"Good. Computer project my voice throughout the entire holodeck." Kathryn spotted a huge rock boulder off to the side and cautiously made her way over to it. She sat, making herself as comfortable as she possibly could on a rock. Eyes focused unseeingly on her linked hands, she began.  
  
"Chakotay, you asked me a question, but you didn't give me a chance to answer it," said Kathryn. She could hear the echo of her voice and knew that wherever he was in the program he would be able to hear it too.   
  
Chakotay angrily threw another rock in the lake at the other end of the forest. Calling himself every name in the book for once again setting himself up for heartbreak, he was startled to hear the husky voice surrounding him, seemingly coming from nowhere. He listened. Confusion quickly gave way to hope and his heart began to beat at an accelerated pace. Dropping the rocks to the ground and dusting his hands off on his pants, he turned and retraced his steps. He knew he could just end the program, but he didn't want to do anything to make Kathryn stop talking. He continued to walk...and listen.  
  
"You asked if I'd ever been in love. I'm going to answer you and I want you to listen. Really listen, okay?" She said repeating his words back to him. "Yes, I've been in love. In fact, I've been in love for quite some time. It's the kind of love that makes my heart soar and makes me feel like anything is possible. I feel like I'm floating with the stars when he's with me and I know he'll never let anything or anyone hurt me if he can prevent it. It does scare me, this love I'm feeling. It scares me so much. Sometimes I'm afraid that it's all a dream. But it excites me also. I just think sometimes about how incredibly fortunate I am to have this man, this dark, sexy, beautiful man in my life. You asked me," she continued conversationally, "if I've ever loved someone so much that I was sure they were heaven-sent? Well let's just say, I didn't believe in a higher power until I met him. He's my soul mate and no one could ever take his place."   
  
A rustle in the trees made her stop. Standing, she turned to face the noise and saw Chakotay, illuminated briefly by a beam of moonlight, emerge from the darkness. Kathryn had never seen a more beautiful sight. Their eyes locked and held as he made his way to her. He lifted his hand and caught a tear that streamed down Kathryn's check. She blinked, surprised. She hadn't realized she was crying. Placing her hand on his chest, she stepped closer.  
  
"You see, Chakotay," she whispered, her voice still projecting throughout the holodeck. "When I'm with you, I feel such overwhelming joy and happiness that I sometimes think I'm going to explode. So, yes, Chakotay, though love is much too simple a word to describe how I feel. I've been in love, I am in love...with you."  
  
Chakotay felt like it was his heart that was going to erupt, he was so happy. He grabbed Kathryn, crushing her to him. Lifting her, he twirled her around. His mouth forming the words, I love you, Kathryn, over and over again. They laughed and kissed. Once. Twice. Then once again. Finally coming up for air, Chakotay gently cradled Kathryn's face between his large hands.   
  
"I love you so much, Kathryn. I can't tell you how long I've been wanting to tell you that. Now it just doesn't seem like enough."  
  
Kathryn smiled, deviously. "Well, I've got an idea. Why don't you show me instead?"  
  
"I can do that," said Chakotay.   
  
Hand in hand they made their back to Kathryn's quarters and disappeared inside.  
  
End. 


End file.
